


I Can Never Be Mad at You

by sunshinetina



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-02
Updated: 2015-03-02
Packaged: 2018-03-15 23:56:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3466808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunshinetina/pseuds/sunshinetina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>‘Are you mad at me?’</p>
<p>Mats smiles softly and presses the phone closer to his ear, trying to catch every single breath, ‘I can never be mad at you.’</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Can Never Be Mad at You

**Author's Note:**

> I just can't disregard the 'fight' Hömmels had during the Revierderby, so...   
> And welp, I am loving them a bit more than I should. (I am already gone for Hummels, but I started falling in love with Höwedes too, and that's /really/ not good for my health.)
> 
> P.S. Comments are strongly encouraged and even stronger appreciated! <3 xx

‘Eventually, you’d have to talk to him,’ Marco says as nonchalantly as possible. Mats snorts, chewing his gum louder than necessary.

 

‘Let’s not talk about that, shall we?’

 

‘Mats, it’s his birthday, don’t be an ass.’

 

‘First...’ Mats pauses chewing and sends a sharp glare at Marco, ‘ _First_ , the only ass I saw today was Uchida’s diving one. _Second_ , Benedikt doesn’t have a birthday this year.’

 

Marco tries to suppress a giggle at Mats’s honest childish behaviour, so settles for just rolling his eyes.

 

‘You need to talk to him,’ Marco repeats and Mats puffs, slightly kicking the small table in front of him.

 

‘I don’t _need_ anything,’ Mats states coldly and Marco smirks softly.

 

‘Tell that to the 2 am Mats later tonight,’ Marco winks at him and beams into a blinding smile when Pierre shouts he is ready to drive him home now.

 

-

 

To be honest, 2 am Mats is not a sight.

 

_‘What are you doing?’ Mats snorts loudly and turns around, blanket almost hitting the floor. Benedikt’s light-brown eyes shine back at him while his fingers run through Mats’s hair, ‘Stop it. Stop.’_

_‘I adore your hair, you know...’_

_‘Look, I won’t give it for you to implant it on your hairless scalp.’_

_Benedikt chuckles slightly, wrapping a curl around one of his fingers._

_‘Are you mad at me?’ Benedikt whispers and his breath hits Mats’s forehead. The brunette shivers and gulps quietly, looking away, ‘Hm, Matsi?’_

_‘I can never be mad at you,’ Mats’s answer just as quietly and shrugs. With the corner of his eyes, he can see Benedikt smile slightly and then press his lips on Mats’s temple before ruffling his hair._

_‘I love you. Sleep tight.’_

Correction. 2 am Mats _without Benedikt_ is not a sight.

 

He honest to God hated Benedikt running his fingers through his hair, but right now there is nothing in this world he wants more. He shifts slightly and puffs, then swears and looks around. Cathy is not here – sweating her ass off for ‘Let’s Dance’ even past midnight. He is alone and that’s not a problem. What hurts now is the fact he feels unbearably _lonely_.

 

Mats’s eyes involuntarily stick at the shining electronic clock on the night-table near him and he chuckles quietly when it shows 2:01 am. He runs his fingers through his hair and whines, because it’s... it’s _not_ the same. It’s not Benni’s fingers there, it’s not Benni’s breath on his forehead, it’s not Benni’s snores on the bed next to him. And, certainly, there was no _I love you_ when he shouted at him earlier today, on the pitch.

 

Mats closes his eyes and all he can see is Benedikt in that damn blue jersey, with the white armband, and with eyes wide open, staring at him. He follows Benedikt’s mouth shouting obscenities at him and feels surreal. He hears him, he knows what he’s saying, but just can’t accept it when Benedikt’s hand (the very same hand that always caresses his cheek) roughly pushes him away. He remembers quickly jumping back (not knowing what to do exactly) and Marco chuckling just metres away from him.

 

_‘You are acting like a child,’ Marco whispers in his ear and Mats is this close to punching him in the face._

_‘Fuck off,’ he waves with his hand and Marco giggles, jogging behind him, ‘Marco, go away.’_

_‘You should’ve said this to the Schalke captain, not to me.’ Marco smirks and pats Mats’s shoulder before taking his position once again._

To say what? That he didn’t expect Benni to _ever_ shout at him the way he did? That the look on Benni’s face was something new to him and he just wasn’t prepared and didn’t know how to react?

 

_‘No foul, go on,’ the referee waves at Dortmund’s players and Mats nods before spotting Benedikt – his always sweet and smiling Benni – running at him, with the strangest look in his eyes._

_‘No, fuck this shit!’ Benedikt pushes the dumbfounded Mats points his finger at him, ‘This is outrageous. Once, twice, thrice! What, you want this derby to turn into a bloody massacre?’_

_‘Höwedes, step back. Shall I remind you of your yellow card?’ the referee tries to push Benedikt back._

_‘And I would like to remind you that Uchida stuck his fucking ass up and dived!’ Mats’s loud voice is a bit surprising to himself too, ‘And what about you fouling Marco earlier, when you know about his ankle?’_

_‘I got my yellow card. What now? Concerned about everyone’s health?’_

_‘I am a captain, Höwedes, that’s my job! Unlike yours, which is, apparently, telling your teammates to dive!’_

_‘Oh, this yellow card won’t stop me from...’ Benedikt’s eyes get darker than ever as he steps forward and Mats just doesn’t know what to do and hops back in the most awkward way, trying to show the referee Uchida’s earlier actions._

_‘That’s our foul, yep, of course, Benni, sweetheart...’_

_‘Look, you fucking-...’ Benedikt raises his finger at Mats once again, ‘Don’t you dare calling me-...’_

_‘Ok, ok, everything is settled now, step off,’ the referee sends Mats away._

_‘He has some personal problems, a bit messed up right now, it’s ok,’ Mats hastily explains while running away, past chuckling Marco._

Mats lays back, hands under his head. He is right, though. He knows about Lisa’s health problems and knows about Benedikt’s logical anxiety of how her treatments would go. He knows Benni is losing sleep, trying his best to always be next to Lisa and to comfort her, giving her the strength she needs. But Mats is just as fully aware that Benedikt is not that strong either. He can see it in the bags under his eyes and in the way his lower lip trembles when he walks off the pitch and slightly touches Mats’s arm.

 

_‘Talk to you later’_ _is all Mats can manage, quickly squeezing Benedikt’s hand before spotting Marco beaming at him._

And it’s 2:30 am and all Mats can do is lose his own sleep. It’s March 1st, it’s Benni’s supposed birthday, but here he is, hesitating whether to press the call button or to just take a sleeping pill. He chooses neither and buries his face in his soft pillow, squeezing his eyes shut and trying to calm himself a bit.

 

But all he can see is _still_ Benni. Benni smiling, Benni laughing, Benni teasing him, Benni whispering, Benni, Benni, _Benni_...

 

‘Oh, fuck it!’ Mats almost shouts and grabs his phone, confidently pressing the call button and waiting for an answer. (His heartbeat is hitting his throat, but that’s just details, right?) No answer. Mats tries two more times before it’s past 3 am and he just settles down for sleeping Benni. (And for his own sleeping pill.)

 

He wakes up six hours later, his head spinning around and his bones hurting from the uncomfortable sleeping position. He whines while dragging a hand across his face and tries to focus his eyes on the bright display of his phone.

 

_Sry, was with Lisa. What’s it?_

Mats smirks as he reads the text and presses the call button once again. The answer is almost immediate this time.

 

‘Happy Birthday!’ Mats practically shouts upon hearing Benedikt’s yawn at the other end of the line, ‘I wish you to stay healthy because that’s the most important thi-...’

 

‘This is what Mario wished Marco last year and look what happened just days after...’ Benedikt sounds tired and Mats’s heart just breaks a little.

 

‘Yeah, well, that’s because they are still not as experienced as we are.’

 

‘Are we?’

 

‘Yep, we even had our proper quarrel,’ they keep silent for a few seconds, ‘Finally.’

 

‘Mats, look-...’

 

‘I still can’t believe that happened, to be honest. You practically ran all the way up to the referee, just to push me.’

 

‘I-...’ Benedikt’s voice breaks down, ‘I’m sorry. I really am. Nothing can excuse me, I know.’

 

‘I know about your problems, Benni,’ and he hears Benedikt sigh as he softly says his nickname, ‘It’s ok. It was a bit intimidating but it’s ok.’

 

‘And I know how you react when someone does that.’

 

‘How?’

 

‘You start a fight,’ Mats chuckles at that, ‘You walked away, though.’

 

‘I would never start a fight with you, Benni.’

 

‘I thought I’d never shout at you, but here we are.’

 

‘A little spice won’t hurt our marriage,’ and finally, Benedikt laughs loudly. Mats smirks, ‘How are you, birthday boy? You fucking lucky fellow and your two-day celebration...’

 

‘Tired. Won’t celebrate, though. Need to go to the hospital in an hour and I’ll stay with Lisa today.’

 

Mats nods and Benedikt sighs, ‘Won’t you watch the under 17 Revierderby? I mean, how we kick your asses twice in two days?’

 

‘Fuck off,’ Benedikt snorts and Mats chuckles.

 

‘But we’ll meet up later this week, right?’

 

‘Of course, Matsi,’ Mats can feel Benedikt smiling while saying his nickname, and Mats literally melts into the sound, biting his lips.

 

‘Benni?’

 

‘Hm?’

 

‘Sorry for the sarcastic comment yesterday.’

 

‘Which one?’

 

‘The _sweetheart_ thing.’

 

Benni laughs, ‘It’s ok. Am I not your sweetheart, though?’

 

Mats smirks widely, ‘You are. That’s why I said it – I don’t want anyone else to claim you as theirs.’

 

‘Jealous much?’

 

‘Not really, just thinking.’

 

‘About?’

 

‘What would’ve been if it was you on Uchida’s place and me on-...’

 

‘Mats!’

 

‘What?’

 

‘You and your dirty thoughts...’

 

‘Ha! So, you admit Uchida stuck his ass up in the air, captain Höwedes?’

 

‘Bastard,’ they both giggle before Mats sighs, ‘ _Are you mad at me?_ ’

 

Mats smiles softly and presses the phone closer to his ear, trying to catch every single breath, ‘ _I can never be mad at you_.’

 

He knows Benni is smiling now and he mentally curses the 35 kilometres keeping him away from the wonderful sight of blushingly smiling Benni.

 

‘Ok, I won’t keep you longer. All the best to Lisa. I am sure Cathy will call her at some point.’

 

‘Thank you. All the best to you too and tell Cathy to be careful at that dancing show.’

 

‘Will do,’ they keep silent and Mats bites his lips once again, ‘Benni?’

 

‘Yes, Mats?’

 

‘ _I love you_ , take care,’ Mats says almost out of breath and Benedikt smiles.

 

‘Love you too, Matsi. See you later,’ they both hang up at the same time. When Benedikt slips out of bed and involuntarily catches himself in the bedroom mirror, he notices the pink flush on his cheeks. He won’t celebrate this year, true. And maybe, he will receive just a few presents. But he already got his first one. In a three-word form. And this is more than enough. It always is.


End file.
